Content
You have the power to make a difference. Knowing the signs, asking the right questions, and connecting someone to help can save a life.
The following is a suicide prevention training model developed by Dr. Paul Quinnet. QPR — Question, Persuade, Refer teaches anyone to recognize warning signs and connect someone to help.
Myths and Facts
❌ Myth: Talking to a person about suicide will only make them angry and increase their risk.
✅ Fact: Asking someone directly about suicidal intent lowers anxiety, opens communication, and reduces the risk of an impulsive act.
❌ Myth: Once a person decides to commit suicide, there is nothing anyone can do to stop them.
✅ Fact: Suicide is the most preventable kind of death, and almost any positive action may save a life.
Warning Signs
Verbal Cues
When someone is struggling, they often communicate their pain through words. Listen carefully — these statements are calls for help.
- “I wish I were dead.”
- “I’m going to end it all.”
- “If ___________(a negative event), I’m giving up on life.”
- “My family would be better off without me.”
- “I won’t be around much longer.”
- “Pretty soon you won’t have to worry about me.”
- “I’m so tired of my life, I just can’t cope with it all.”
Behavioral Cues
- Persistent sadness or hopelessness
- Heavy alcohol abuse or relapse after a period of recovery
- Putting their affairs in order; for example, giving up prized possessions
Situational Cues
- Any previous suicide attempt
- Suicide of a close friend or family member
- A major loss; a job, a significant other, a large financial change, or sudden illness
Question
Direct, compassionate questions open the door to honest conversation, not to judge.. It's okay — and important — to ask.
Questions to ask if you are concerned
- Have you been so unhappy lately that you have thought of hurting yourself? Have you thought of ending your life?
- I’ve noticed that you have been very upset lately, have you been considering ending your life?
- I notice several difficult things have been happening lately, have you considered ending your life?
- I heard you say___________, have you been thinking of suicide?
- I’ve been concerned about you because___________, have you been thinking of suicide?
Questions NOT to ask
- You’re not thinking of suicide, are you? ❌ Implies the answer should be “no”
- You wouldn’t do anything stupid, right? ❌ Judgmental and shaming
- Suicide is a terrible idea. Surely, you’re not thinking about that!? ❌ Dismissive and closes conversation
Why these don’t work
These questions are indirect, judgmental, or dismissive. They signal that the topic is uncomfortable — which can cause someone to shut down rather than open up.
Persuade
Offer Hope First
Before making a referral, let them know they're not alone.
- “I’m on your side”
- “I care about you”
- “I know of someone that can help”
Then Ask Directly
- Will you let me help you get an appointment at EAP?
- Will you call and schedule an appointment with EAP today?
- I’m happy to walk with you to EAP, will you go with me?
- Will you let me call EAP and ask them to come here?
- Will you promise me not to hurt yourself until your appointment at EAP?
- If you call a friend or family member, will you go with them to EAP or another counselor?
Refer
Refer them to help from one of these resources
UNL Employee Assistance Program
Confidential support is available for students, faculty, and staff
402-472-3107 800-755-2655
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Available 24/7 for anyone in crisis.
800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line
Text-based crisis support, available anytime.
Text 4HOPE to 741741